Why do you Stare?

It happened

for the first time a few weeks ago. Kai had a full-on meltdown in the middle of Publix. I’m talking screaming, kicking, clawing, THE WORKS. I didn’t feel embarrassed, I just felt tired. It was the worst way to end the already struggling day.

Like many others I’ve been working from home while co-teaching my kindergartner and potty training/entertaining Kai throughout the day. My husband you ask? Working full time in the food industry and we are ever so thankful he is still gainfully employed. But gosh it’s been hard. I’ve got schedules, timers, and Pinterest saves out the wazoo.

Before you ask No I don’t know if we truly have a condition for Kai or if its just a magnification of the Terrible Two’s but today that didn’t freaking matter to me AT ALL. As I struggled to push the barely full cart, contain my screaming child and directly my other to keep walking a man turned and stared. He didn’t ask if I needed help, not a look of concern but a look of utter disgust and annoyance of me interrupting his shop experience.

I don’t know what took over me, but I stopped stared back and asked loudly if we had an issue or was he offering a helping hand. He quickly turned and walked away.

I was pissed!

I know I can’t expect others to immediately know that maybe we are dealing with something not A Typical, that this isn’t just a child acting out but a child that can’t clearly articulate an issue or problem he is having.

BUT WHY DO YOU JUST STARE?

Do you understand how rude that is? How it makes that person feel? Or that family? Do you care?

Why are we so quick to accept and feel for a physical issue but not a mental one?

I like again many others have joined a Facebook group or two and saw a beautiful post of a mom and her son crafting but when reading the comments became disappointed as this mom had to defend the fact her son still had a pacifier in the photo. WHY?

It’s like asking the person or child to wear a scarlet letter for their disability in order for it to be real and have others accept without judgement or assumptions. Again WHY?

We ended our trip early with a handful of items as it was becoming too much to just push through it. He screamed and kicked and cried the entire way home and once we arrived did not want to get out of the car. Eventually I got him inside both of us exhausted; we ate dinner, completed our bedtime routine with no more incidents.

despite all of that I call this a better day for both of us, but some days aren’t so good. Some days I scream, or turn left instead of right because I want to avoid the meltdown because he wants to go left, some days he runs from me to daddy or yaya(Skyler) to comfort him when I am not giving him what he needs, sometimes we sit in the car and cry together because neither of us knows what to do next.

It’s hard, frustrating, and confusing when you don’t know what reaction is the best because you aren’t sure what is in your child’s control or your own. I believe that’s the hardest part; not knowing where we stand. Determining that is at a stand still until the world starts operating as normal again.

So for all the parents out there who are dealing with this as well I understand; For those on the outside looking in please look on with compassion instead of judgement because judging a book by it’s cover only works about 50% of the time.