Mommy I love your hair!
My daughter says to me as I walk past with my hair in a pony tail on top of my head.
Oh, thank you honey!’ I beam at her.
At such a young age she would never understand how much this one sentence means to me. See I’ve struggled with self-image all my life. At first it was an issue with the fact I was too skinny, then too dark skinned, then my hair was too short all the way to being too fat. All these things have made me so self-conscious about the way I look and appear to everyone around me. Not too long ago I decided to go natural. I mean it is all the craze and perming your hair only works when you remember to do it and have the time to get it done. While pregnant with my daughter I decided to give up perming my hair partly because literally everything is bad for you in the first trimester and I haven’t looked back since. My hair when blown out is as long as it has ever been, and protection styles are my best friend. But I still have my days where I am unsure of myself. Working in corporate America I can’t just wear my hair however and feel like I look appropriate. If my twist out doesn’t turn out just right I spend all day messing with it trying to get the hairs to lay the right way. And if it rains oh man it is an entire mess. Just last week I remember running late and getting frustrated with my husband because I had no time left to even attempt to do anything to my hair. I felt dejected and pulled my hair in a tight bun at the nape of my neck. This only caused me to have a headache by the end of the day and still figid with it all day long. But some days like today I have good hair days. I love the way my twist or curls turn out. They lay perfectly for me and I get complimented on how neat my hair looks. Now someone complimenting you in no way should validate the way you feel but gosh does it feel good! Am I right?
Anyway, my hair routine is a hot mess no matter how much I plan, research, pin, or get suggestions. You should wash your hair at least once a week or every other week. You should not put excessive heat or continuously straighten your hair as this will disrupt your curl pattern. Find a product that works for you hair type. Figure out what your hair type is. Don’t use shampoo, co-wash, condition your hair only. So many rules for not just being natural but being a curly girl. If you have curly hair of any kind you understand what I am saying. If not… well welcome to curly girl 101. There are so many rules and ways to protect and nurture your hair that it will literally make your head spin. But we try. We test out this product and that product. We spend $20 on a product that says it will help boost your curls and make them last longer only to end up under the sink with all the other products that did nothing for us because it works; just not for your hair type. We watch hours of YouTube videos about styles they complete in 10 minutes or less and products they swear by. But all in all, that first year, the first two, or heck the entire time you are on this natural embrace your curls journey it is hard! For most people especially, women their hair is so much apart of who they are and not having complete control of that! Not being able to bend it to your will and start your day in control can be a struggle for someone like me who has anxiety. But we push through for those good hair days! We relish in the compliments and bath in the likes we get on whatever picture we posted that day just because! But you know what! My favorite compliment comes from the littles voice. She loves my hair when it looks perfect, or when it’s a mess. When I think it looks crazy she is right there saying I love your hair mommy! I say all this and went on this tangent just to say soak up those little moments. Enjoy those compliments and make sure your little ones know how much they are appreciated. Heck and compliment them right back! We need to build our children up so that it is not so easy to tear them down. Bullying is at an all time high and the rate at which children are getting/needing cell phones and the growth of social media it is harder and harder for them to escape that and remember the good things about themselves. So, show up make sure you are there to build them back up when this crazy world tears them down. And if you’re like me when my daughter gets to those angsty teenage years and ask me why I compliment her even on those bad days I will tell her because she did it for me. Sometimes you just need someone in your corner that sees the good and best of you even when you can’t see it in yourself. Anyway, that is my spiel. Love yourself, love your hair, love your kids. Until next time!