Motherhood is tough—honestly, it’s one of the hardest “hoods” out there. But doing it solo? That’s a whole other ballgame. Most of us didn’t plan on raising our kids alone, but life happens, and here you are, doing your best. Let me say this loud and clear: you haven’t failed. There’s no shame in your story. You’re showing up, striving, thriving, or working on getting there. And that’s more than enough.

As I enter my second year of fully embracing single motherhood, I’ve picked up some insights and tips to help you on your journey.

1. The Kids Are Alright

I spent so much time wrapped in guilt when we first moved into our new place. I wanted to keep things seamless for my kids, planning family outings, Disney trips, and even inviting my ex into our new space for their sake. But it was exhausting.

One day, my daughter said something that stopped me in my tracks: while she missed her dad, she loved the peace in our home. That’s when I realized that sometimes, what they really need is the calm and security you’re creating—not a perfect recreation of the past.

2. Every Journey Is Different

Here’s the thing: no two stories are the same. I’m not here to tell anyone to leave their spouse or stay. What I will say is this—find someone who will hold space for you. Someone who listens without judgment, whether you’re venting, questioning, or ready to make a big decision.

In those messy moments, a little tough love is helpful, but what you really need is someone reminding you that it’s okay to move at your own pace.

3. Yes, Everything Has Changed

Life doesn’t look the same, and that’s okay. When I first started, I tried to keep things as familiar as possible. But the reality is, our schedules and priorities had to shift.

From chore charts to sports practices and after-school activities, our free time looks different. Gone are the days of impromptu Disney trips or endless beach afternoons. Now, we plan ahead, and honestly? That structure has brought us a lot of balance.

4. It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Not every day will feel like a win, and that’s completely normal. Case in point: one day, I managed to get my kids from school, start homework, prep for a softball game, and arrive on time—only to realize my son didn’t have shoes. SHOES!

Thankfully, his sister had Crocs she could spare, and we made it work. But moments like these remind me that it’s okay to drop the ball sometimes. What matters is showing up and trying again tomorrow.

5. Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

Guilty as charged on this one, but it’s so important. Taking care of your kids starts with taking care of you.

Whether it’s a mental health day, a haircut, a quiet moment with your favorite show, or finally booking that overdue doctor’s appointment—make the time. It’s easier said than done, but your well-being matters just as much as theirs.

Bonus: Build Your Village

You can’t do it all alone, and you shouldn’t have to. Whether it’s friends, family, or online mom groups, having a support system is key. Even if it’s just someone to text when things feel overwhelming, lean on your people.

For me, it took over a year to leave, partly because I wanted to set myself up for success first. Whether you’re figuring out housing, routines, or just how to make it through the week, know this: you’re not alone. There’s a whole village of moms—online and off—cheering you on every step of the way.

XOXO, Nifty